In the past few years, mostly thanks to Tumblr, there’s a different kind of chick that has received a lot of visibility. The infamous: Carefree girl. You like the idea of her because you’re an artist or some other kind of popular social outcast who likes to go against the grain. In the same way that you prefer the H&M lesbia- I mean men’s – section over say, Jimmy Jazz, you’re interested in girls that break up the monotony of carbon copy, basic bad bitches who all look the same (long weave, Michael Kors bag, body con dress, Aldo heels). You want someone who will take abstract, artsy pictures of you and choose the perfect filter to align with your selectively curated Instagram. You want a girl who can literally be the abstract art for your selectively curated Instagram. You love that her entire aesthetic screams “I don’t wear underwear” and you can often see her nipple rings through her shirt. You fantasize that she’ll be down with Quentin Tarantino & chill, and she won’t require you to buy her designer clothing. We get it, she’s “different than all the other girls…” and you like her because you’re “different from the rest of these…” You want a Carefree bitch like a high schooler wants a hoover board.
Or so you think. To be sure, there are two bases you need to cover when you decide you want to date a Carefree girl. First, you need to make sure you ‘bout that life. Second, if – AND ONLY IF – you decide that you are actually ‘bout that life, you need to make sure that the bitch you’re into is actually a Carefree type of bitch.
Any girl can go thrifting, wear a tattoo choker, smoke weed, get a septum piercing, wear her hair in a fro (real or fake), and use the word “vibes” to describe how she judges people when she meets them. That’s the Carefree ™ aesthetic – which can be bought and sold on Etsy and at your local Forever 21. There are Carefree girls, and then there are bitches that look like Carefree ™ girls. There’s a chance that you could only be interested in the latter and that’s ok. But it will save you some heartbreak to know that about yourself upfront. (And make no mistake about it, an actual Carefree girl can and will break your heart if you not ‘bout that life.) You might believe yourself to be one of a kind, but you’re not the first person to enjoy art, beanies, street stickers, indie artists, or whatever other eclectic shit you’re into. It takes more than that. If the way you structure your relationships is based on the same boring ass, happily ever after romance tropes that everyone else uses then you’re probably not ‘bout that life – no matter how “edgy” you are. For example, do you feel like you and your partner need to spend most of your time together doing couple shit? That might not work for a Carefree girl who needs her space. Are you able and willing to travel? Sometimes on short notice? Your lifestyle might need to cater to flexibility and spontaneity. Are you ok if your girl travels without you? If you follow where I’m headed with this, the message should be clear: if you want to date a Carefree girl, you probably need to have some elements of carefreeness in you as well. If you don’t, and just want someone who dresses cool like you do, then stop reading now and head on down to the mall. There will be plenty of square bitches in flowery dresses and combat boots to choose from.
The magic of an actual Carefree girl is that she’s liberated and it’s infectious. She’s curious, always on to the next thing, sometimes unpredictable, and honestly doesn’t care about a lot of the same shit that other people do (especially gender roles, traditional relationship “rules,” and fairy tales). That ownership model where you think bae ‘belongs’ to you is dead. She’s probably a feminist or womanist. Everything about her seems like a contradiction to people who don’t understand her nuance: she reads books and likes trap music, she curses like a sailor and she’s really into spiritual shit. She lives by her own code of ethics and morals. She doesn’t care about you, or anyone else, calling her a hoe. She’ll chuckle about it, take a bomb nude, and send it to someone who deserves it. You’ll find yourself in admiration of her willingness to be herself. A Carefree girl will change you, and if you ‘bout that life, you’ll get to watch her evolve, too.
The key to dating a Carefree girl is to just let her live. There is no forcibly changing her. If you’re in it, it’s all or nothing. You can’t love that she dates girls, but get upset when she has a relationship with a woman that doesn’t include you. Regardless of who else she dates, be confident enough to know that what you have to offer is good enough. She’s not going to chase you for a relationship title or commitment. She might not even want one. Your relationship will need to unfold organically. Manipulation and traditional tactics of finesse are no good here. Fuck everything you’ve ever heard Drake say about women. If she doesn’t think it’s working out, she will leave. Let her. Her primary goals are peace and fulfillment in her own life. If you can help her achieve those things, without attempting to define them for her, great. She’ll love you for it. If you can’t, then you not ‘bout that life.