Keep reading to experience my chat with Loveless Joselyn, while I feed her grapes…
CUPID: I just want to love you forever…
JOSELYN: Whoa, this is your opening line to an interview? Cool. Get in line.
C: It’s how I think…they showed me your picture and I asked “could I have her????” They said no…fuck they…
J: Something tells me you tell all the cute chubby girls that.
C: I tell all the girls a lot of stuff, but I could see us in a field feeding each other grapes. Please accept my grapes…
J: Hahaha! I don’t accept food from strangers
C: Hmm…tough cookie. I’d expect nothing less from this nickname they say you have. You have been dubbed the “Loveless girl” why is that you think?
J: Well, at first I assumed it’s because I look like some of the drawings (cute (in my humble opinion. Which is the only one that matters), chubby, and tatted) but now it might be b/c I have three pieces on me and more to come.
C: You’re really comfortable talking about your size, and it’s weird because it makes you sexier. Has this confidence in this judgmental world always been in you?
J: Hell no, growing up people picked on me and everyone says after a while you get tough skin…I never did. I just fought all the time. After a while, they just knew that one smart comment meant a black eye or a punch to the throat. Over time I became more comfortable and loved me. Once you love yourself unconditionally (with room for fuck ups here and there) no one can say or do anything to you that will alter your opinion about yourself. I feel like when I fought, it was because I believed that I was as ugly as they said I was… Wait a minute…You sure are getting deep here.
C: I’m all about deepness miss, I told you I loved you and now whatever it takes to feed you grapes is a must… I digress; your confidence is easily one of your biggest assets. The people (and loving cherub) want to know more. Tell us about you. *tries to feed grape*
J: You didn’t see that “throat punch” part huh?
C: The hostility…I like it.
J: You really are all about getting hurt for love. That’s what’s up. I can’t do it.
C: It’s a gift…but about you?
J: About me? I am thee most interesting boring person you will ever meet. I like to think I’m quiet but others would argue this. Especially if you hear my laugh (nothing quiet about that.) I read books, attend local hip hop shows, get tatted when life inspires me to, and can’t picture my life without music, my family, and my friends
C: Interesting, boring people are the new “in”. They are the most intriguing. You seem to have so many contradictions that go well together. Have these different traits ever surprised people when they found out?
J: All of the time. One of my hobbies involves cars. It’s always fun to watch guys stare when a girl in 5inch heels pops her hood and knows what she is doing. I’ve come to accept that I know more about the cars that my “datees” drive then they do. That is okay with me…not so much for them. I think it’s an ego thing?
C: You work on cars!!! Hold up…hold the fuck up! This is getting out of hand. It’s like god said “Man I’m bored today. I’m going to make a female that’s gonna blow peoples’ minds. Let’s make her cute, sarcastic, yet chill. She can like rap and tattoos…let’s make her Puerto Rican for extra spice” I just want to personally say thank you god. I’m sure you’re not even touching on the many talents. Your like a modern day renaissance woman. Want some grapes while I stroke your hair?
J: Son, these grapes…chill.
C: Note to self…bring strawberries next time…girls love strawberries.
J: Ew not me…I’m more of a mango girl…but those are messy.
C: Noted…enough of my sexual advancements…let’s talk about these tattoos. Explain your Loveless cherubs to the world.
J: Sure, so back in November (I think) I was going down my timeline on Twitter and I noticed that this tattoo artist (didn’t really know him at the time) posted this pic of a cherub with a Love Bomb. I fell in love. I immediately knew I needed this in my life. I didn’t want just one though…I needed something more reminiscent of my life. I have a girl cherub on my left with katanas and a love bomb protecting her love and a “cupid” on my right calf with his arrow aimed directly at her. I’m not gonna say I’m damaged, but I don’t give my heart over easily…I’m just waiting for my cupid to see past the walls and say “fuck it. I want her. Flaws and all.”
The next one that I got has to do with my love for cars. She’s a little race car driver! Cars really are the BEST example of how love and relationships work. The better you treat and take care of your car the longer it lasts and takes you further.
C: It’s pretty appropriate that a person as cool as you would need multiple cherubs to represent them. The little driver is beyond unique. You out here racing cars miss?
J: Yes, but only legally! If it’s not a track…It aint happening.
C: Never got a speeding ticket I’ll assume
J: -__- next question please.
C: I love that face. I’m sure the guys hate it when you beat them. I say fuck it…practice makes perfect. I pee off balconies to increase the strength of my aim. I highly recommend it (editor: Loveless Society does not recommend peeing off balconies or in public places that are not restrooms.) but yeah man practice is good.
J: Something isn’t right in that head of yours…
Guys never want to be outdone in a field that is dominated by them…but hey…They have Iron Chef now. So, fuck it.
C: I blame what’s in this bottle…I’m just a victim of the good life. Now on to the other tattoo before I let you live your life and such. How have relationships made you who you are and what is your perfect guy. He might be reading this…
J: Guy…err? Or Girl.
C: Cute girls have their choice, I forget.
J: I’ll be completely honest. I’ve been single for 9 years. Yeah. NINE. I have had shitty relationships and good ones…I don’t fear commitment as much as I fear the end of a relationship. There is nothing worse than KNOWING it’s over but being so caught up in “habits” that you can’t let go. That is why I am so guarded. I want to fall in love, feel the butterflies in my stomach every time they step in a room… I guess I just want love. Real love. As far as my perfect mate, I am so comfortable alone that whoever is to win my heart would have to have patience because I am not used to having to think about someone else’s feelings. As far as a type, I have this thing for people with nappy fros, dirty chucks, great smiles, and awesome senses of humor…a smart mouth is cool too.
C: The fact that you are comfortable alone means you’re gonna be married in like three years. People like you are the best to find, completely honest and in tune with themselves. People get to fall in love with the real you. Fuckin beautiful. Alright guys (and gals) I helped, keep the stalking to a minimum please…
So big question…What do you want out of life. The perfect life for Joselyn is…
C: I know right
0 to 60 racer girl…
J: I can’t even begin to explain everything that flashed before my eyes just now and then my dad’s face did it. My father passed away on October 18th 2011. He was such a clown and it irritated me so much because I felt he was never serious…but now, I admire that no matter how horrible things were…He always found the time to laugh and infect others with laughter. My perfect life would be simple, finding one person that can be with me for the rest of my life like my mom was for my dad, being happy with what I have, and never regretting the things that may come. You got me out here sounding like a simp.
C: But such beautiful simping it is. It shows real strength that you would share what your dad has taught you even with it being so soon afterwards. In my eyes you are an inspiration. So many people worry about things but you take them in an unusually confident stride. Shit’s a gift…one that was clearly passed down to you. I’m not the only one who loves you…Everyone in Loveless loves you. You personify what this whole entity stands for…love for self. I’m beyond proud to say that the people were right, you really are the “Loveless Girl” and I mean that in the highest regard possible. You will always have a place with us and I know that you are going to continue to inspire others with your magnetizing personality and wit.
Man you done got me sober. Let’s go grab some drinks and call it a night.
J: Yesss! Lehgo!
C: Awesome, thanks for being so amazing. Wanna give the people any last words before we jet?
[Insert cliché statement here] ok…all done!
Follow Loveless Joselyn on twitter @SLOWLYbtngU. She’s quite entertaining to say the least.
(All photos by Wiggins Studios – Official Loveless Society photographer)