Hey you lot. Cupid here and guess what, I’m off damn it!!! It’s the first game of the NBA Finals and I scheduled this day to partake. Psyche, didn’t get so lucky. With that, watch as she takes her frustration out on the newest member revealed, Loveless Obie. I feel sorry for you mate. Go Thunder *scratches belly button*.
Psyche: Hola! We’re getting ready to start in a minute. I can’t front I’m trying to watch this game! I bet money against Cupid!
Obie: It’s all good, I’m watching too. If you picked the Heat, I’ll try and forgive you..
P: Listen… I don’t need forgiveness. This is how this interview is going to go huh? Hmph…
Let’s get to it! How are you feeling tonight? Besides chumpin’ my team?
O: I’m super relaxed with my Scooby snacks watching this game. My team is at home watching just like me, so you got it…
P: Who’s your team?
O: The Lakers…
P: Argh. I forgive you now. So tell me what motivated you to get me tattooed on you? I mean I AM pretty amazing but aside from that.
O: Well you are fly, and…and you seem to be down for Cupid, so I put you in my favorite kicks in the tat. Excuse my stutter…got choked up on the exhale.
P: I have that affect on people *flutters wings* I am a sucker for sneakers what are your faves?
Stop looking at the game and respond!!! Your team isn’t out there! Shoes sir, Jordan 3’s?
O: *Laughs*….my fault Ms.Lady. Prob the Jordan Concord 11 and then the Jordan Cement 3…I also like the Kobe Grinches. I can go on and on.. I’m a sneaker dork.
P: So I have to ask, what’s up with the goatee?
O: It makes me look like a distinguished gentleman. You don’t like it?
P: I think its dope but I get in trouble when I flirt… But can I touch it? Do you get asked that a lot?
O: Thats a first. You can do whatever you like…
P: I like being firsts!!! Yessss!!! *Dougies two times*
O: *Laughs*… Hit the blunt?
P: Aw man! You smoke?
O: I plead the fif..*coughs out smoke*
P: FiiiiiiF *Chappelle voice*
O: Keep up with me homie… Scooby snacks make me relaxed..
P: I trust I keep up. Man, a cherub has the munchies now!
O: I got some Jolly Ranchers and Now a Laters if you want.
P: Mm. Jolly Ranchers! Green Apple please! Since we’re both elevated let’s get into it…Love… How did you hear about Loveless?
O: I like the Artist’s work and I’m a fan of Cupid… Anyone trying to spread love is cool with me.
P: What does your piece mean?
O: Its the struggle between Love and Lust…Love and Hate…Love and Life and the struggle between want and need…without getting too deep.
P: Nah get deep! This is your time. I just sit here and look cute.
O: You and cupid are protecting love and everything good and my cherub is holding a love bomb while Jeff enjoys the show. The love bomb represents the dangerous necessity of love..
P: That’s all Jeff does… Smh. Watch the show. In fact wait!!! How did JEFF “Jay double Eff” get a part of your arm?!? Let me stop hating.
O: *Laughs* Jeff is a devil too. He represents the bad…but he’s cool. I don’t hate. Every thing they say is bad makes you feel good sometimes.
Your team is starting to make mistakes. How you ride with the Heat anyway??
P: Listen! Focus!
If I can get some money out of Cupid without having to compromise my morals…I’m down.
So let me ask you? What is “Love22?”
P: Wow. I never thought about it like that! You just enlightened a Cherub. Is that possible?
O: Nah…I don’t think so. That Scooby snack might have done that.
O: My people tell me I’m something special.
P: Is that what they say? I hear you know Loveless Kelli!? I love when the society members interact. How did you two meet?
O: That’s the homie! I’m trying to surround myself with good people. Did you see that dunk!?
P: Do you see the score though? Oh ok.
O: Wait..This is my spot light though.
P: I’ll wait.
P: But do you see the score?
We should make a bet…
O: Yeah…there’s plenty of game left. I’m down.
P: If the Heat wins, you have to take your chance and tell someone something that you’ve been too afraid to say. Life is too short. Heat win, you live a little and get to chant that “YOLO” stuff the youngsters say.
Deal? You don’t even have to tell me if you do it or not. The bet is yours.
O: I can dig it…but I don’t chant that YOLO stuff.. You see this gray in my beard homie?
P: But Drake made it cool, right? I am not sure. Every time I hear him crying over a new stripper I change the station.
P: I know people that gray early on. Trust that there is some old guy inAtlanta screaming “YOLO is the motto” Speaking about music… I heard that you’re a fan of “Who Cares” by Gnarls Barkley. Want to talk about it?
O: Oh yeah…good song..
*long pause…really long*
P: I am over here trying to figure out what just happened. Were you not going to elaborate? If it’s gonna make you cry, don’t do it.
O: Scooby snacks is potent..Some west coast finest. Nah…I’m not going to cry…It doesn’t hit that hard. I like the lyrics and can relate. I can go on and on about my ish, but Who Cares?
P: I feel you. Well since we are closing down the interview. Tell me the most random act of undying love you’ve ever done/performed?
O: Maybe if the Heat win the game, I will. You going for the heart, I can dig that.. You’re supposed to play for keeps.
P: That’s what we do at Loveless. I don’t want to keep you from the rest of the game. Any last words?
O: Hahaha..Appreciate that homie. The world needs more love…less hate. Love should be the motivators, not the haters and I’m out! And Outkast needs a new album..us 80’s babies need that.
P: GO HEAT! Annnnnnd I’m out!