I’d like to propose a toast… I said toast muthafucka!!!
What the fuck is up? It’s Jeff. Yeah, I know I’ve been ghost, but let me explain…I’m lying, I got no explanation. I just been out here getting it. C(upid) is over there passed out from celebrating Valentine’s day. Six random girls are walking around the house because he shot them too many times, and me? Shat, I’m just eating gummy words. The ones with the double head. Twice as good…twice as delicioso.
What you guys don’t know is that while I’m a devil and may look like I’m not big on encouraging, I’m always telling C to make shit happen (I mean, if he doesn’t we may fuck around and be homeless). So with that, the little guy works, and works, drinks, orchestrates orgies, works some more. I never really see him sleep. So I surprised him today by cleaning up the place (read=slightly less shitty) and having my rent check on the table. I hid so that the surprise would be complete. As we walked in and looked at the check his face said it all…
“What in the holy fuck? Rent check! Wait a minute… it’s $300 shorrrrrrr,” Were the only words he could get out before I came behind him with the chloroform filled rag and put him down. “You ever go night night C? Shhh…Just count those fuckin sheep bitch.” I then ripped the check up. If he would’ve cashed that, I think the security guards have permission to shoot because that account owes so much money. I see you looking at me. I didn’t want to have to put C down like that but his damn workaholic ass needs to chill. You guys should see how depressed he is all the time. Wanting love and feeling like he has to shoot everybody to make it happen. Sad man. I just had to put him down…make him rest…steal $30…let him count sheep, feel me.
The thing is the guy is his own worst critic. Everyday, he hears people blame him for their shit. And he has grown cold (not as cold as a pimp like me but, shattttt…I’m just saying) so he sits there and takes these insults. He talks a mean game…and sure I’ve seen him beat some ass, but at the end of the day, he is more lover than fighter. So to let him chill, I’m going to let him relax a day. I mean, last week was the damn anniversary and he still won’t take a break. Fuck that…sleep little man and let Jeffry have this weak ass pistol….YAOOWWW! Damn security shock system. How am I supposed to get laid tonight? You win this round C, but there will be others.
Well since I can’t go around chasing delicious poontang pie tonight, I guess I’ll mention some of the things that this whole Loveless thing has achieved. When Cupid told me he wanted to do this years ago, I told him to put on some underwear, for no other reason than his ass was in my room assed out like it was cool (funny how time goes and I can stomach all of my food as his baby meat chillaxes in my peripheral vision. Every year, he surprises me though. He told me that he was going to give it one big shot to get people to chase what they love independently without so much need for his help. So he helped come up with this company. I said it wouldn’t work…boom well over 100 members with the Loveless tattoo (and I’m looking at this waiting list. Looks like they are on pace for 300 by years end…well damn, I think we need some more Jeff tattoos out there. Who fucking wit a pimp? No…cool). It gets better.
Every quarter they set goals. I know that sounds pretty typical for you responsible types, but to me them shits never look realistic. Just know…everything that the company has done was just a thought before and at the time it really didn’t seem possible. NO money, NO fans, NO tacos. That little guy over their, with ass in the air, drugged out of this damn mind had only one tool to go off of…and that was faith…faith that if he delivered, you guys would come through and reward him. He really is about that speaking shit into existence stuff as seen with a blog he wrote late last year (click here if you love chili beans…or just want to see what Cupid wrote). For shits and titty gropes, let’s go over the list he wrote. And let’s keep in mind, that he wrote this only two months ago when he had no way of really knowing.
Get Loveless September to the masses.
The first Loveless Art show needs to have a definite date.
Loveless to be mentioned on television.
$100,000 in our frigging bank account (we’re some poor naked cherubs mate).
Jeff’s ass to be brutally beaten if I notice any of my pistols missing.
Get an epic amount of twitter followers because clearly, me and Psyche have the best twitters on the planet.
Ok, let’s have a look. Shattt, clearly number one worked out. Loveless September got off to a crazy good start. Damn shirts selling hard. Good thing too because we gotta pay this rent. That hoodie and the Psyche shirt are disappearing fast (If they really wanted to sell, all they had to do was have some Jeff clothes. Dumb fucks…where was I big bucks? No, numb nuts…close but no. Aww…retired sluts. Clearly what I was going for *reads last sentence*…Damn, C is right. I am stupid. Look, Jeff clothes in the next line, give these people what they want, what they mu’fuckin need!) So if you haven’t checked, go ahead. Some kind of way, they matched the entertainment of this site with that one. Pretty cool considering how different they are, in my honest opinion (ok, I know I’m not honest, but you understand). Well there is time to get me in there. I’ve seen some blueprints for what is in store, and as Samuel Jackson would say “I’m tired of these muthafuckin snakes, on this muthafuckin plane!” If you get my drift (…Huh? -management).
As far as the art show, what you guys have no idea about is that we are planning a new style for ALL of the Loveless art apparently and it will be our signature style when it comes to all of the art. All I can say is “We are borrowing from the old masters that inspired the art of Loveless” So if you read that as if J double will be painted nude eating grapes then, yeah…hell yeah fucking right (What? no…just no! Please don’t take hem serious. -management).
The next one seemed to be the most unlikely one. This isn’t the type of brand to hold commercials so it seemed a bit far fetched to be on television. Well for those that don’t know, the artist is going to be on this show called “Best Ink” this Spring. And we have word that he definitely mentioned Loveless a time or two. Shit, it’s in his bio on the site they have. Look at it if you need too clickity click me damnit!!!
We haven’t quite reached four, and if we do, I think that’s me and Cupid’s honest to god back rent…may need to up that to 200k. Just saying. Hmmm…#5 *Looks at gun that he moved earlier* Man, I’m not touching that shit again. He’s just going to have to fight me. *Walks over, slaps shit out of Cupid* That chloroform works good, shit. And last but not least, those twitter followers. Well we have no real doubt that that will get stupid so just follow those two if you haven’t. and I’ve been thinking about getting in the mix, who knows. Here they are in case you need some shit to click Cupid and Psyche.
Guess that’s it for now. Considering two of the bigger tasks were completed early as shit, I know little testes is going to revamp the to do list. The company has only been up a year and is going at an amazing pace. Do we tell you this shit to brag. I mean, I am, but no is the answer. We tell you because we want you to know, you can do it too. Not necessarily make Loveless, but make whatever dream you have happen. This was all a thought just a short two years back. A ton of stuff we wanted to do…and now it’s here. We just want to motivate, and with this one year past us, we hope we are doing a good job…well Psyche and Cupid anyway. Big Boy like me gonna take another few weeks off and pat these guys on the back once I see the progress. You guys can keep up with them in the meantime. But if one person reads this and is motivated by this, then my job is donezo. Nobody not just be donezo…shatttt. Oh Fuck, short stack waking up. Later people. J double out!!!