Cupid here. Don’t make fun of me. I’m sitting here in the dark staring at the tv. No, I’m not watching it, I said it was fucking dark. I’m just sitting here…sack all cold on this wood floor, just, ya know thinking. I do this the best when I’m alone, with this bottle half empty. It’s not the alcohol talking though. It’s just my thoughts running at a million miles a minute. Lend me your ears…err, eyes(?), for a second, and partake in my ramblings.
Have you ever just felt uneasy? Not even in a bad way though… Just really fuckin uncertain. You have these goals, right…wether they be big or small, and you know one day that said goals will become reality. But you just don’t see how. Sure everyone tells you to “think positive” and “it will work out the way it’s supposed too” and all that other made for television movie shit, but in reality you just have no fucking clue how you’re gonna achieve your target.
For me…my goal is simple. I want millions upon millions of people to acknowledge what we are doing here with Loveless and do what they can to chase their personal happiness…but yes even a Love God sits back and has doubts. Like how do I do this? It’s not hard at all to grab someones attention, but how do I keep it? I can speak, but will people listen, and more importantly, will they want to continue listening? How do I touch millions when I only seem to have so few bullets in my arsenal (bullets are expensive, and my roommate is surely going to be late on his rent)?
These are questions I can’t answer…but I know that my goal will be reached. It’s fucking crazy…but I just fucking know it will. Something so great can’t and will not be denied because I won’t allow it. But…the uncertainty of how to make this happen still scares me. I don’t want to have fear, but it’s hard. I’ve started my love crusade, but what steps do I take to reach my goal? I mean fuck, what’s the next damn step right now?
I know that you all ask yourself these same phrases especially considering that it seems that everything is working against you. I just wanted you guys to know you are not alone. I’m asking you all a lot by breaking the norm and chasing your love, but I’m not able to give anyone a road map. The thing is even I don’t have one…it’s just something you have to…..well….figure out by doing. We are going to take bumps, we may even fail a few times, but over time, we learn and we get better and we evolve.
Its just hard when you don’t have immediate results is all I’m saying. Fear of the unknown is a mother fucker. But, in a weird twist, that fear is the fuel. Who wants to fail? No one I’m sure.
I’m not going be preachy today. I just wanted to let you know that I too have doubts from time to time…but it’s just apart of that journey toward something great…at least I believe so. What do you guys think?
Well I’m gonna finish this bottle and scratch my balls as I continue to ponder. Thanks for lending your time.
– Loveless Cupid