Loveless Andrea

Loveless Andrea

Cupid: Look over there…

Andrea: (turns around) Over where?

C: There! You see it?

A: Ummmm, have you been drinking? Wait, don’t answer that…

C: Yes, is the simple answer to that…but, you don’t see that double rainbow…all the way across the sky? What does it mean??? Tell me fo’ I get mad!

A: It means that you should run over there and claim the two pots of gold at the other end! And, make sure you split it with me!

C: I tried to run earlier today and fell. Got a lil boo boo on my knee. Jeff laughed so I shot his dumb ass. Besides…why worry about gold when I am graced with your presence? How are you tonight Ms. Crymes?

A: I’m fantastic…that’s MRS. Crymes by the way πŸ™‚ Did you get Psyche to kiss your boo boo?

C: I’m drunk so we’re gonna let it slide. And, she thumped it when I asked. Can you believe it?

A: Why yes! Yes, I can believe it. This is Cupid and Psyche we’re talking about!

C: She used to be so nice. If I could remember what I did that would be awesome. All I remember is this one time I ran a car into her living room…come to think of it, she thumped my forehead then for that. I say we go shoot her in the name of vengence! You with me. (tosses Drea a pistol).

A: Oh, no sir! I don’t deal in violence or guns. I was a hippie in a past life…I’m all about peace and harmony. You’re on your own there buddy. Maybe you should get a hypnotist to unearth those lost memories. Recreate the actions and maybe, just maybe, Psyche will be nice to you again…

C: Orrrr…I could have this drink and imagine better memories. Like how last night I rode a unicorn into a Van Halen concert that shot magical laser beams that made candy trees!!!!

A: I swear you are on something stronger than just liquor… Can you plant one of those candy trees in my back yard?

C: It’s all in an effort to give you smiles and of course you can have a candy tree. What type do you fancy?

A: Banana Laffy Taffy tree, thanks! ONLY banana! None of that other mess!

C: No one is going to fight you over the banana Laffy Taffy tree? The only thing that flavor is good for is reading the joke. Here goes one. Answer it or this conversation ends…Good luck! DUNN DUNN DUNNNNN… Why was the tomato blushing? You will only be given one chance… (stares with good eye).

A: I know this one! Because it saw the salad dressing. And, Mr Crymes will fight someone over a banana Laffy Taffy. I know. We have to hide them from each other.

C: You have passed…you may enter the next level…of this interview. I must stop being silly. Let’s get into the meat and potatoes of you…or the banana and the…ummm…splits?

A: (bows) Thank you for the honor πŸ™‚

C: You deserve it! So…Psyche told me you were off limits because of Mr. Crymes. I don’t know why she thinks that I’m just going to flirt every time I do an interview. Would I have in this case? Damn right I would’ve, but that is besides the point. She shouldn’t assume. Besides, Kenny is alright. Nothing like seeing that my arrows still work. Tell us about life before the husband.

A: Yeah, you can’t go around blatantly flirting with every woman you come across. Well, I guess you can. It’s up to the woman if she’s going to respond. Anyway, life before the husband…where should I start? Let’s just say your arrows were a little off target.

C: As they usually seem to be…continue…

A: We met at work…I broke one of my “rules” (I actually broke a ton of rules, but that’s another story) and got involved with a coworker. I had some stuff going on in life when we met and spent a lot of time sad, which is completely unlike me. He said, and I quote, “You’re too pretty to cry”, and there his mission started. Make Drea smile all the damn time. It was tough for him at first but if he’s anything, he can be persistent. Prior to that though he tried to talk to me and I was a “witch” to him. But he eventually won me over, obviously.

C: Hmmm…I remember him saying that and me shooting him in the back of his head. Do tell the turning point.

A: I’m glad you shot him in the head. We started as friends and stayed that way for about 6 months or so. The turning point for me was when my dad died. Kenny was there for me like no one else (other than immediate family). He dropped everything to make sure that I was ok, mentally and emotionally, when that happened. From that point, I knew I loved him.

C: Somewhere, Psyche just cried. You girls are so emotional. It’s great to see that the lovebomb finally went off. It’s always great when friends become more, especially taking it to a step of marriage. What are some things that are special about your relationship? Are you lot going trick or treating?

A: Yes, we’re emotional. Get over it! (eye roll)

C: Roll them again…And, you gonna find yourself too in love (cocks gun) continue…

A: As for me and Kenny, what’s special is that we stick through it. I’m not gonna lie; there are days when he makes me want to pull my hair out. But, I look past those things and remember why we were drawn to each other. The good always outweighs the bad. We also understand our faults and try really hard to improve upon them for the sake of our relationship. And, I’m already too in love. Don’t make me shoot you with a marriage arrow!

C: Nice, nice. Put that thing away! You have to be certified to use it. I let my friend use it and now Kanye is dating Kim kardashian…alls I’m saying.

A: Do you have a fashion sense arrow you can shoot KimYe with? They have been looking like crap since you let Jeff shoot them. And I know it was Jeff. Don’t deny it!

C: Of course it was Jeff. I lost a bet…he has good luck with guessing shit. So you just going to avoid my Halloween question? I was told this interview was to be specifically shown on Halloween. Any reason why?

A: Oh yeah…Halloween! Sorry. I got caught up in the love question. Nope, we aren’t trick or treating. We’re gonna sit out with the neighbors, drink whiskey and apple cider and give kids cavities with tons of candy. We give out the good stuff! Kids come to our house twice because the candy is so good and we give them tons of it. Lol! And, this interview is for Halloween because of the nature of my Loveless tattoo…

C: I’m gonna come too dressed as Robin. Psyche is going to be Batman…you better give me all the candy and give her a piece of a candy corn. Holy guacamole batman…is that a zombie Loveless?

A: Why does she have to get candy corn? All this animosity towards Psyche. For Cupid you have a hard time loving. And yes, it’s a Zombie Loveless and she wants your BRAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINSSS!

C: I love Psyche, that’s why I tease her. And, my brains are fun size…not much nutrients there. You have to tell us why such a pretty girl such as yourself would get a zombie Loveless (though I must admit…it is weirdly alluring…I digress).

A: Well, the concept of the zombie apocalypse appeals to me, but, I’m so clumsy and awkward that it probably wouldn’t be long before I get bitten and turned. But, I’ve got the super supportive husband who loves me enough to chop my head off once I turn so that I don’t have to live life as the undead…Honestly though, I think he’ll get bitten before he can get to me though and then we can live eternity as the undead, scavenging brains forever. There’s always going to be a stupid person who’ll get eaten. Haven’t you ever watched The Walking Dead? But, that’s another thing that’s awesome about us. He’s supportive as heck! Support is a key factor of a successful relationship.

C: Watched it last night ironically. Nothing says love like sticking a knife in someone’s head and twisting it. He does seem quite supportive. He told us about your talent of writing. What do you gear this gift toward typically? Certain genre maybe?

A: The Walking Dead is my absolute favorite show EVER! Ken’s always boasting on my stuff…I don’t know if my stories fit into any specific genre. They could be called horror or sci-fi. But, mostly they’re just weird. My creative juices don’t flow as much as they used to but I try. Right now, I’m trying to manage balancing my short story blog ( and my Mission FitPossible blog ( But the FitPossible blog has been getting a little more love lately.

C: I’m sure it’s about to get a lot more now. You’re officially apart of Loveless! We all look to support each other (if you are reading this and you don’t click that fucking link, just know I will be paying you a visit tonight! Everybody go night-night…everybody (crazy stare) but yeah, they are great people. πŸ™‚ So Kenny also got you a little Loveless gift. Looks rather interesting.

A: Lol! Hey, I’m all about gaining new followers with this blog thing, man! Yessssss, I have a one of a kind Loveless gift. Got it last Christmas. It’s basically a portrait of our Loveless pieces, illustrating what the zombie apocalypse will be like for us. I’ve been turned and he looks into my eyes before slicing off my head. He doesn’t want to, but he needs to because he know I won’t want to live like that. I’ve even written a short story to go with it…but that’s for another day.

C: Hmm..Management has told me to tell you we will post that story on the site one day. Look at you, published by a site. Weren’t expecting that were you?

A: Then I can call myself a published writer. Awesome! Thanks for the resumΓ© builder Management!

C: Righteous! Let’s all go drink to that. Before we get out of here is there anything you want to tell your amazing viewers?

A: Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Put all the drinks on Cupid’s tab!

C: They won’t let me have a tab anymore…It’s over 4 million at the moment…started around ancient roman times…sheeshh!!

A $4 million tab? I don’t even want to know…But seriously though, Love is an amazing thing. When you get shot with that arrow, remember that you’re in it for the long haul. Love your significant other unconditionally, support them in everything they do, never go to sleep angry, and take every opportunity to let them you that you love them. And, don’t forget to communicate…people, check out my blogs if you don’t want to get shot by Cupid and drop me a line on Twitter @drealeeanne.

And finally, in the words of Frank Sinatra: Love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage. This I tell ya, brother, you can’t have one without the other.

C: Nice way to end it. Franky owed me a few drinks. Let’s just go use his tab. Management is telling me to have you tell your husband’s twitter. Clearly he doesnt want to be known.

A: Kenny’s is @TheMrCrymes on Twitter. Apparently he wants to remain “mysterious”.

C: It’s like that sometimes. Let’s go have mysterious shots. To Sinatra’s tab. I’m riding with you. πŸ™‚

A: I wish Blue Eyes was still around to make music…but I’ll be fine with using his tab. Buckle up buddy! I drive fast! πŸ˜€

C: Vroom vroom!!

Loveless Society

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