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Up In Smoke

Yeah… Greetings and salutations. This is Loveless Cory with the first installment of Herbal Verbalz: Random Thoughs and Observations of a Lifelong Stoner. I was stressing on what the first Herbal Verbalz would be about. Like fareal, I would sit and stare at the note book ’til I got frustrated, got high, and got distracted. Probably ended up on the couch playing Playstation. Basically, shit got ridiculous. So, just to save myself the trouble of going completely crazy, I’ma approach the blog like I do my art: completely random and completely baked… POW!

*Fires up the jay*

A couple weeks ago I went to the club wit my homebwoi and it was ya average night at the bar. Stumbling thru the crowd. I was on chill mode so I had me a pitcher filled wit all kinds of shit. We stepped outside to get some fresh air and balance out all that good clean air with some smoke… lol. There was this older lady wit gold teeth that borrowed my lighter. She sparks up a convo and she’s going on and on and on and on. My attention span is kinda short, so I was less than half-listening. Then suddenly, amongst all the words that were flying out of her face I hear, “… see, I got hoes because I’m a madam.” And that’s all I needed to hear. I had so many questions. I guess pimpin’ ain’t dead. But, the crazy thing is after the convo, she offered up one of her “employees” for the discount. Now, I’m never the one to pass up a good deal, buuuuuut…

*Hits blunt*

Deflate-Gate has made watching ESPN real awkward and uncomfortable. All that talk about balls made for some hilarious “pause” worthy television, tho… lol

*Hits blunt*

This one time I was getting high as a kite in an attic with my cousin and a couple friends. So we smoking blunt after blunt after blunt. There’s no open window and its starting to look like a sauna. I remember my cuz looking at me and saying, “nigga, are you crying?”… That’s right. My eyes was so red and runny from tha massive smoke cloud we was sitting in, that this huge single tear fell down my cheek…. On some Denzel Washington in “Glory” type shit… The moral of the story: open a window. Proper ventilation is key.

image

*Hits blunt*

Sometimes I think I can see the future. I have a few predictions. When they happen you can thank me for giving you the heads up. Ok, it’s kinda fair to say that Oprah is the unofficial “Queen of Black Female Affairs”… Look it up. But, she will eventually retire, and when she does there will be a need for somebody to take her place and wear the crown. It is my prediction that Tyler Perry, with his female friendly work and massive fanbase, will take the throne. I mean, seriously, who else is there that can fill Oprah’s shoes? Exactly!!! Nobody… But, it is also my prediction that things will get weird when Perry begins to show up to more and more events dressed as Madea. Eventually he’ll assume the persona full-time. Not too surprising, tho… lol

***

Ok, this joint’s bout done for. I’ll fux witchaw next time on Herbal Verbalz. Ummmmm… shoot me sum questions, comments or ideas. I gotta couple dope projects for this jone, so stay tuned… pzzzzzzz

3 Comments Leave a reply

  1. Doxdaname
    Permalink to comment#

    Hilarious observations sir, your obviously leading a life that needs 24/7 coverage lmao, and proper ventilation is always key in a proper cipher. Good read.

    Reply
  2. Kumani
    Permalink to comment#

    Pure Dopeness!

    Reply
  3. Svidrigailov
    Permalink to comment#

    Good shit, how can I send a question?

    Reply

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